As I posted on a Facebook status earlier in the week before a Nor’easter hit the east coast, “More snow….sigh. Not that I am a snow downer, I actually like snow. It is just that I grew up with it always being up in the mountains and we could visit it, not live in it.
As the storm hit there were the normal news reports all about the snow. About midway through the reporting day when the talk of snow no longer seemed novel, the stories than turned to how all the snow was going to impact Valentine’s day. More like how it was going to affect sales of Valentine’s related items. Sigh, got love our capitalistic culture. One reporter while interviewing one man, asked him if he had his valentine’s day shopping already done? and the man replied that he was single with no one to shop for… and then there was an awkward moment of silence before the reporter changed the topic back to the snow.
Ah the joys of being a singleton around certain days, namely Valentine’s Day and New Year’s eve.
A well-meaning acquaintance asked me, as we waited for the metro train, what I was going to do tonight since it was Valentine’s day and I was single. I took a slight breath, smiled and said I am doing what everyone else is doing, I am enjoying the evening, picking up flowers, having a nice dinner and opening up a little special gift. She said “Oh, so you are dating someone?” I said “No, but there is no reason I have to sit this holiday out, I can be my own Valentine!” I smiled as the metro train pulled to a stop. Where we were happened to be standing was between two train cars, as she turned to head to the car that stopped ahead of us, I turned on my heel and walked to the one that stopped behind us.
Now I could easily grumble about how insensitive she was being or how these holidays are stacked against singles. I could have said I am boycotting Valentine’s day and be done with it… but that bad attitude leads really only to turning a lovely day into a bad one. Although, I will admit it wasn’t that long ago I was a negative nelly about the whole Valentine’s and New Year’s eve being single thing. I almost sat out this past NYE, perfectly content to be holed up in my apartment with my bad mood. It was not because I did not have any options, it was that whole “you are single on NYE (poor you)” thing looming over me like a dark storm cloud. I did go out and had a fabulous time. What caused the change in my perspective? A new tube of lipstick and lip liner. Yes it is true… something as small as a new lipstick can change one’s perspective. I am very much an optimistic person, when I am in a bad mood all that is needed is a glimmer of a positive light and my bad mood starts to retreat. I really can’t explain it beyond that I think my being likes to be happy and positive, so when I am not the second something happy or positive happens….BOOM the bad mood begins to recede. For me on NYE, the happy thing just happened to be a new lipstick.
It is probably the change of perspective I needed for a long time. I am working on this “love thy self” stuff or what it really is the “trying not to be so hard on myself.” So heading into this Valentine’s day the only storm clouds that darkened my world were the ones that left several inches of snow. In case you are curious, yes I did buy a new fabulous lipstick and lip gloss, not because I was in a bad mood or needed a “happy” heading into the holiday. I bought them simply because they were fabulous.