speed bump (noun) : a
low raised ridge across a road or parking lot that causes people to drive more
slowly.
At the beginning of the year I really did not think I bit
off more than I could chew for the first quarter of the year… work, volunteer
with a couple of organizations, train for a half marathon, French class, keep
normal social engagements etc. Add in the this snowy cold winter, start the
home buying process and that I seem have a regular mental block that February
and March are my most taxing months at work. The result, I am staring at an
overflowing plate. I tell myself “you can do it, just buckle down it really is
not too much.” Well this year the Universe thought differently and with a
concerned chuckle thought “that one needs to slow down for her own good!” The speed bump that was sent my way was in the
form a respiratory bug that stopped me in my tracks. There was no soldiering through
this bug. I stared at the calendar, I was three weeks from the half marathon. I
kept telling myself this would clear up quickly and there was a glimmer of a
chance that I could still run the Love Run at the end of the month. The things
we whisper to ourselves when we want to hold out hope. Deep down I knew this
was not true, this was too close to race day and this cold was too bad for the
reasonable person to: in 22 days to recuperate, salvage whatever was left of a
training schedule and complete the half marathon without doing any damage to
one’s fragile health. This is one of those wonderful "could vs should" debate.
Could I do it? yes. Should I do it? No. My doctor said to me, “with the cold
you have, only a crazy person would still be considering to run the race at the
end of the month, and you are not a crazy person! Pick another race, preferably
a couple months later.”
So grudgingly, I agreed I would bail on the race. Bailing on
the race is not an easy thing for me to do. For me to just quit something, is
not in my DNA. It takes something monumental to get me to throw my hands up and
walk away. Sometimes sticking it out and not quitting can be a good thing (e.g.accomplishing goals, coming up with creative
solutions to hard problems), many times waiting too long to quit can be a bad
thing (e.g. staying too long in an awful job, staying in relationships well past their expiration date). Learning to accept that quitting can be
a good thing is a tall task for me, but I am learning to accept it bit by bit. I
hope to go on a small run, a couple of miles or so, on race day to
celebrate that I am healthy enough to be back running instead of being glum
that I had to quit.